‘i’ndividual to ‘ensemble’

The tableaux was simple because it had cues from the graphical representation we had done it in the precious exercises. Or so I thought. We explored the tableaux in different spaces. I realized that the meaning with which the tableaux were created in the studio, changed, varied, found new connections in new spaces. It made me realize that the emotions are not fixed entities. They keep on changing with time and other connections.
We then connected all 5 tableaux to make it a single narrative. This was again a new challenge. In this we added new tableaux or broke or extended the actions to retain or change the meaning.
Then we performed the tableaux narrative with one partner, then two and then we all four performed. We had multiple versions of this performance and hence multiple explorations. Initially it was very difficult to explore. I did the exercise with a stride of exploring so I changed the sequence of my tableaux according to Charvi’s tableaux. But in the finding of new meanings some important meanings got lost.
I struggled with feeling and gauging other’s movements. I tried finding ways to look at the other person. But at a later stage I realized that all my tableaux are very extreme. Either they were expressing a very internal experience or were denying the externality. I realized that because of this I couldn’t invite other peoples energy, movement, attention as well as I couldn’t be part of theirs. I really wonder if this is s reflection of my personality. (Well it is. But as of now I don’t know if I should change this or its okay to be this way)